Tim: Hey brain should I tell them or should you?
Brain: Does it matter Tim? Aren’t we one in the same?
Tim: For the most part but maybe we could define us a little bit? What do you think?
Brain: Assuming no one thinks we are crazy for talking to ourselves!
Tim: I mean they got this far didn’t they?
Brain: I suppose so, but do you think its really necessary?
Tim: Well we do have funny moments together don’t we?
Brain: Yes, that we do. I’ll let you take it from here Timothy
I think the best way to describe the above is defining Tim as my self awareness and Brain as the part of me that computes if that makes sense. The one thing that I quite enjoy about the mind the Lord has given me is the ability to analyze and even analyze myself. I am not quite sure if I even understand the above but I will give an example so hopefully it will make more sense.
I remember one time at a restaurant I worked at I was on my phone in the freezer checking on a text (hey not perfect!) and my manager walked in, looked at me and asked me what I was doing with his phone. I remember having an internal dialogue with myself thinking,
“Well this could not possibly be his phone but then again it could be his phone…. I don’t think it’s impossible for it to be his phone. Its actually entirely possible to be in a universe where this is his phone despite it never being in his possession with all of my information but this can’t be right for sure. Maybe I left my phone on a counter somewhere and he and I both have the exact same model of a phone. Perhaps when I left it there he picked up mine and perhaps he left his somewhere and I assumed it was mine. This would explain how it could be his phone and I am actually on it right now but how would this explain me texting Brie…”
and then I figured out he was joking, he didn’t really think my phone was his and it was all sarcasm.
I laughed and I explained to him that I thought he was being serious to which he laughed and I got back to work. Everything in that thought was my brain computing trying to figure out how my phone could actually be his. It was that “aha” moment, my self awareness that allowed me to figure out it was a joke.
Brain: “Three steps for us to get to sarcasm right Tim?
Tim: “Hold on brain I’m not done explaining!”
Brain: “Yell at Stephen!”
Tim: “Only one person in this entire world will get this joke brain, why are you making it for brain….?”
Brain: “Sheeple Tim!”
Tim: ” *face palm* Stephen I hope you are really happy that my brain decided to make a joke that ONLY YOU would get and leave everyone else confused…
Brain: “Who cares!?”
Tim: “You’re so insensitive brain!”
Brain: “You’re so insensitive!”
Tim: ….
Brain 🙂
Tim: “Touche, I see you hanging out with Stephen too much!”
Brain: “Now who is making jokes that only one person would understand?”
Tim: “DANG IT BRAIN!”
Simply put I am giving my logical processing a voice. One of my gifts is creating stories and narratives based off of the facts I know (I plan on some stories soon that demonstrate points, working on a young earth old earth creationism next) and creating personalities for those stories. My brain is essentially an eccentric, overly skeptical atheist who lives in my head and needs facts and evidence to function.
Brain: “How can I be an atheist when Jesus is Lord?”
Tim: “You know how long it took to get there right?”
Brain: “Oh yeah…. That took a while before I was quiet.”
Tim: “Yep…”
Brain: “Yep…”
…
Brain: “But I’m not an atheist anymore Tim…”
Tim: “Yeah but you know how we are and can’t just be comfortable being labeled as faith people!”
Brain: “We are so insecure.”
Tim: “We’ll get there.”
Its my self awareness that allows me to be able to go back, examine my thought process and understand myself. My brain doesn’t always blindly take the literal approach, but I think its fun to give an aspect of myself a voice which is all I am doing here and its a knowledge of how my brain works that allows me to dialogue with it.
I hope that clears up a little bit in my blogs what I am doing. If anything my brain is just a character I have created in my mind that I like to use for a little comic relief… Mostly my dialogues is the narrative to how I am socially perceived. I know that when I make a mistake how other people must view me. Take the manager example again. After it happened its easy to think,
“Man he must have thought that was funny and think I don’t understand sarcasm really well.”
Lets now imagine what my manager is thinking.
“He must not really understand sarcasm well.”
Now lets give that thought of trying to figure out what my manager was thinking talking to back to me.
Brain: “You don’t really understand sarcasm well do you Timmy?”
And thus the brain is born, simply my self awareness realizing how I might be perceived by others, trying to figure out what they might be thinking in relation to my behavior, taking those thoughts and giving it a personality.
Take the Stephen example.
I realize that only he and my wife Brie (and very probably his wife Victoria) are the only ones who will be able to really appreciate that joke and most people reading it don’t have the appropriate context to really get just what is going on.
I realize that other people watching were not around when Stephen and I had the sheep conversation and I can already guess people are wondering just what they heck I am joking about but I understand that Stephen will probably be chuckling at this point while everyone else is confused. My brain is realizing this and me knowing how others will probably perceive it allows me to give that thought a voice.
Brain: “Three steps for us to get to sarcasm right Tim?
Tim: “Hold on brain I’m not done explaining!”
Brain: “Yell at Stephen!”
My brain thought of a memory with my friend Stephen so I thought of including it here. I realized if I did include this only he would truly get it. Instead of just laying out my thought process I find it more fun to create a dialogue instead of just explaining my reasoning process.
Tim: “Only one person in this entire world will get this joke!
I could just as easily explain it thought per thought but its more fun this way.
All the dialogues with my brain are simply my brain generating a thought and my self reflection on that thought. Simple as that.
If you want a little firmer grasp listen to this song by NF
(20) NF – Intro III – Lyrics Video – YouTube
NF is having a conversation with is own thought processes. He is giving a voice to his own fear. His self awareness of how his fear affects his behavior allows him to create a narrative. In a similar way I am simply making a narrative of what my brain generates and my self reflection on those thoughts.
Its more entertaining this way wouldn’t you say?
Hope this helps to make sense of what is going on in my blogs!
Thanks and God Bless!